Guest Blog

Today, I thought I might surprise you with a guest blog from Manic, my jogging buddy. I would introduce him further, but he kind of does that himself. :P



My name is Adan Hinojosa. I am 25 years old and 275 pounds.

One month ago I was 285.

I am driven.

I’d like nothing more than to see if the grass genuinely is greener on the other side.

My whole life I’ve been the big guy. Up until I was 12 I was typically the tallest. However, I’ve always been the most massive. I’ve carried around a gut for as long as I can remember. Naturally when you’re young you have a thin skin and it might bring you to tears when someone called you fat.

Over time it became a mixture of apathy and acceptance. Somewhere around high school I stopped just thinking of myself as fat and started thinking of me as me. There was still the pseudo-self-consciousness about taking off my shirt in public, among other things.

I graduated high school, became an adult, started taking on some of life’s burdens. A year or two ago I looked at myself in the mirror and finally stepped on a scale for the first time in a long time. Back in high school I was 230-ish and I thought I was large. Come to find out I had gotten myself up to the upper 280’s.

It was strange. Somewhere all along I kept explaining it away. Even from the move from size 36 to size 42 pants. Even through the shirts changing from XL to XXL. I realized that I wasn’t about to let myself get any bigger than this. It wasn’t going to be this way. Something had to change.

Both of my grandfathers died of diabetes-related complications. Both were missing at least one leg. I have two uncles on my father’s side who are now missing body parts below the knee. I have an uncle on my mother’s side who has been fighting heart problems for at least 10-15 years. I see what they allowed themselves to become and resolved that I wasn’t going to make that mistake.

From the outside observer it’s quite the paradox. How can someone with a mind like mine be so “dumb” enough to just let his body go like that? I can play a musical instrument, I can write comedy, I can fix computers, I can fix cars, I have more than rudimentary knowledge about most subjects that people promptly forget about. What the hell was keeping me from taking the next step and getting my shit together?

I guess you could say I love food. I’d consider my palate wide. Not extreme like some foodies, but I can drop $50 on sushi without flinching. Big steaks with baked potato. Carne Asada Burritos. Cheeseburgers. The really bad stuff has a certain richness to it that can’t often be found elsewhere I became accustomed to it. In the end it was detrimental to my appearance.

It was a slow progression to get me to realize it. But I’d look in the mirror, remember my old weight, and study my features. I’d visualize what I’d look like without 10-20-30-60 pounds. I end up saying to myself in the end, “there’s one very good-looking dude hiding under that fat, and I’m going to go find him.”

So that’s where I started 7 weeks ago going for jogs and cutting the bad stuff out of my diet. No more breakfast fast food sandwiches. No more Jack in the Box tacos & cheeseburgers. No more KFC bowls. No more Sonic Chicken Dinners or shakes. No more Western Bacon Cheeseburgers from Carls Jr. No more fried shrimp. Down with potatoes. No more biscuits & gravy.

Fat had to be minimized. Carbs had to be minimized. Lean meats are in. My old favorite Mushrooms are upped. Breakfasts consisting of nothing but a big lump of scrambled eggs are in. Low-cal protein shakes will help to replenish me. Start slowly kicking that soda addiction, if only during my transformation. I have loved Dr Pepper for over 20 years, and will continue to do so. However, now is the time for us to take a break. It’s been good to me but not good for me.

More water, more iced tea, and sports drink no higher in calories than Gatorade G2. It’s a lifestyle adjustment that forces you to go left where you’d go right. Go up where you’d go down. It takes commitment. It takes effort. Count those calories, count those carbs, count those sugars. Stare at the nutrition label and plug every single thing on it into Wikipedia. Education is key.

Seven weeks and I’m down ten pounds. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. I’ve only broken a chunk off the iceberg. I’ve got another fifty to go. I’m always going to be a thick guy, but I can look lean at the very least. I want my XL shirts back. I want size 36 jeans. I want to look good in a plain white t-shirt again.

Part of my jogging just came down to finding my stamina again, and slowly working up to it. Starting out I could barely do a mild jog for 30 yards before feeling like I got the crap kicked out of me. Now I’m jogging faster over five times the distance before needing a little break. I can power my way up hills. I can recover faster. I’m nowhere near where I used to be. I want to be able to jog a quarter mile. I want to be flexible. I want my 18-year old body back. It’s not some impossible goal. It’s something within reach. If you feel like something’s within reach you’ll always feel like you’re making progress.

Part of my training in the jogging was Couch-to-5K. My friend Christie had me do a couple days with her. It’s structured nicely and actually helped bulk my stamina up more than I thought it would. My training has moved onto other things, but I thank portions of Couch-to-5K for being able to get me there. I hope that by the end of winter I can look in the mirror and what’s staring back is not the same as the guy from a year ago. That mirror will show a person who feels the power coming from his body, and that power will drive everything else forward in life.

Week 2, Day 2 (Part 2)

Brisk five-minute warm up walk. The alternate 90 seconds of jogging and two minutes of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

That's right! I've officially gone 2 days ina row! Even though technically, you are suppose to take a break in between your runs. My problem was all the Snickers that I ate yesterday. (What? They were the bite size ones)! Anyway, it made me feel fat(ter) or that I was going to get fat(ter) and I could stand it. I knew I had to work on it!

So, as soon as I got home (that is after I got back from my chiropractor) I went straight to go running. This way, I had no excuse and couln't fenagle (you like that word?) my way out of it. Afterwards I felt great! I was exhausted and sweatier than a pig in August, but I felt great!

The cheerleaders weren't there today, but the band geeks were and I had to play my music SOOO loud in order to avoid hearing the aweful music. Okay, I digress... I plan on going out again today, too! That way I can FINALLY start on Week 3. Week 3 is going to be HARD and crazy. A peek into the furture:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then do two repetitions of the following:
- Jog 90 seconds
- Walk 90 seconds
- Jog 3 minutes
- Walk 3 minutes
- Five minute cooldown walk

Okay, really? Jog 3 minutes! I can do it. Yup, I. Can. Do. It. At least I hope I can, and attitude is 90% right?

Mental Notes:

1. When you (steal) borrow water from work and put it in your car so that you don't forget to bring water... it helps when you actually take that water out of the car and too the track with you when you go running. Otherwise, you aren't going to drink it.
2. Start going stairs after you run, you can do it! Those 3 that you did yesterday weren't bad at all and you can't even feel it in your butt. You need to feel it in your butt, so that you can have a nice round formed butt. I want a nice round formed butt.
3. Arizona had its "winter" last week and now it is Fall, you don't need to swear a light jacket anymore. It's ARIZONA, what are you thinking!
4. Don't forget no carbs. (For some reason I think that if I keep telling myself this, then I wont eat very many carbs).

Week 2, Day 1 (Part 2)

Eventually, I promise, I will make my way to week 3. However, as I mentioned before (here and here) I'm anal, and HAVE to do things in order or by the directions to make sure it really works. In reality it is just this thing I do in order to critique people for their intelligence, or lack there of, in writing directions/instructions. See Dane Cook.

I almost didn't even go out last night. In fact, I had full plans to completely and utterly (not udderly) not go out and exercise last night. I consumed 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, a bowl of tomato soup, and washed it down with a Diet Coke (I know! Pepsi is better. Coke is cheaper.). But, someone on my Facebook reminded me that I was fat, and can do it. Actually, she only suggested music, but that fact that she cared, and tried to motivate me made me feel special and slightly guilty

Brisk five-minute warm up walk. The alternate 90 seconds of jogging and two minutes of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

The skinny Bitch wasn't there, neither was the 50-60-70 year old. *sigh* No one to show up today. Damn. Well, I forgot how much I like to run to music! When you are running with other people (like Manic and Faffy) you can't listen to music, it's rude, you're suppose to converse with your company, not ignore them.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

That group of people must be the track team. OH! They are huddled together, they must be leaving. Guess I avoid that humiliation. (as I get closer) OH! It's not the track team, it's a bunch of cheerleaders, or wanna-bes.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

WOW! That swim coach sounds like a real Bitch (yea, capital B)! I can hear her loud ass over my music. I certainly wouldn't want to be on her team. Flyer (cheerleading turn, for the person who gets tossed in the air), are you a Rookie? Don't lock your knees, stay stiff, back straight, and PINCH A PENNY!

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

Wait, where is the coach for the wanna-be cheerleaders? They don't have an adult there?! WOW! Umm, and they are practicing stunts. I remember those days,I would do anything to be able to practice stunts. I guess they are doing it really safely, like, safer than I did when I was a cheerleader.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

Where are my kitty cats? I don't see them! I hope that cat abuser didn't get them! That would be awful! Dang. I am much more tired now and here, than I was when I was running around the Kiwanis Park.What was I doing differently?

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

Oh yea! Knees up. Maybe that will help. Man am I hot. This is horrible! I feel like a beginner, maybe I SHOULD have started back at Week 1. No, that doesn't make sense, Week 2 is where I belong. Plus, it is still Day 1.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
COOL OFF

Stay tuned for some guest bloggin by a couple jogging buddies and their journey to get into shape!

Mental Notes:

1. Steal... No that isn't the word I am looking for... Borrow (that's more like it) some water bottles from work and leave them in your car, so you will always have water and it wont matter when you forget
2. Consistency (I don't think I will ever learn!)
3. Buy better shoes (Psshhh! Like this is gonna happen!)
4. Cut back on carbs (I'm trying! I really am!)

Week 1, Day 2 (Part 2)

Workout Length: 31 minutes. Brisk five-minute warm-up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

It was back to the basics last night and a good thing it was. We had one more join Manic and I on the walk (I'm working on getting her permission to post her information*). She just started the Couch to 5K program and is on Week 1 Day 2, so that is the day we did. Maybe I can get her and Manic to guest blog about it one time instead of having me ramble on and on about it.

Anyway...

As I mentioned above, it was a good thing we went back to Week 1, because it was damn hard! I can only imagine the pain we would have been in had we continued with Week 2. Not that we aren't ready. BUT it was f'ing cold outside! My lungs felt frozen, my ears NEVER warmed up and I think it wasn't until half way through the program that the rest of my body started to feel like it should at body temperature.

Good thing was that I brought water this time! Yea, a half of a bottle that I forgot was in my car from my drive home from work (Wow, that was a lot of sentence).

While I thought I would be sorer than a turkey on Thanksgiving, my body is surprisingly not feeling that bad this morning. AND I think the whole running thing is helping me sleep better at night!

Great job team!

Mental Notes:

1. Whenever you get around to buying those good running shoes!
2. Still need more water, water is a good thing.
3. Stretch you dumb ass! Stretch! It really isn't that hard.
4. Always wear a sweatshirt now, aparantly Arizona CAN get cold!
5. Protein shakes. My body needs more protein and less carbs.

*Got permission, She will be referred to as Faffy from this point forward.

Week 2, Day 2

Brisk five-minute warm up walk. The alternate 90 seconds of jogging and two minutes of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

You will be proud of me. This time, I kept moving on with Week 2, instead of going back to week 1. This probably would have been great, had I not technically done the Week 2, day 2 program twice. I mean, I completed it twice, last night. That's 1 hour of running/walking!

Anyway, I was lying on the couch after having ate a small amount of food. I was tired from the weekend and the night before. I was about 10 second away from sending out a text message to my jogging buddy (who I recently got permission from to exploit. Or something like that) and telling him that I wasn't going to make it. Then, I got up and changed into the neccessary attire. I left 30 mintues before our meeting time, because I knew that if I were to wait any longer before leaving the house, that text message would be sent!

Manicsocratic is my jogging buddy and he can be found on twitter, here. Also, I will now be refering to him has Manic in this blog.

Half way through the first time I did the program, I wanted to leave. Then at the end, when my Manic showed up I felt like I could go another hour. Yea, riiiight! I was beaten! I felt used and abused. My thighs felt like jello in the sense that they remained in one spot, but were shaky as hell! And my feet, my feet felt like I had been walking on iron for the last 10 years.

Yesterday kicked my ass.

Lesson learned. Don't take 4 days off and then expect to "make up" for it the first chance you get. 20 minutes in the hot tub didn't even help curb the pain my body was feeling. Today, I can STILL feel it. I sure did hand it to myself.

I think I might go out again today, and complete only ONE session, not one session twice. I am terribly exhausted, from staying up late and not getting any sleep, so I am not sure if I'll make it. I did just consume 78 carbs. It's funny how it kind of seems that excesising and eating healthy go hand in hand. Or did I get that backwards? Maybe, I'm just not there yet!

Mental Notes:

1. Don't forget your WATER! You can't keep relying on other people to bring you some.
2. Sweat pants seems to be eliminating that burning/itching feeling. I wonder if now that I am more active if I can go back to shorts and not have it at all!?!?
3. Still need new shoes (I might be repeating this for the next 9. No, 8 weeks).
4. Work on what you are eating. Try to elimiate the carb intake. *cough* fat ass *cough*

Week 2, Day 1

Brisk five-minute warm up walk. The alternate 90 seconds of jogging and two minutes of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

I stumbled onto Weed 2 by sheer accident. I swear. I was going to do Week 1 again with my workout buddy so that he could adjust to the program, and THEN move on to Week 2. But, when starting the workout last night, I didn't move back and ended up starting Week 2 instead.

I remember after the first run, I was like, "Oh man! This seems like a LONG time." By the 2nd run, I looked at my phone and, "OH SHIT," We started Week 2! Well, by that time we felt like we were perfectly capable of continuing forward. MAN! Was that a great work-out! I felt great! I sweated my ass off, but I can really feel myself progressing! Despite the physical appearance of exhaustion, I really think that the workout is a little too short and that I can keep getting better and better.

That whole realization is enough to motivate me to keep going steady so that I do not fall behind. AND so that I can see if the program really works. because you can bet your ass, when this program is finished, I am taking my self back to the track and going to run, like it tells you too, and see if it is really 5K (about 3 miles!).

I am totally looking forward to Friday night, where I convinced Curtis that we should not go to Pappadeuax and spend $100 on a meal, and should instead save $100 and go for a run. That's the power of persuasion at its best. Maybe the Week 2 program will make him feel a little burn.

Mental Notes:

1. I fear that by the time I buy a decent pair of running shoes, I will be finished with the program.
2. Bringing water is a good thing.
3. Keep up the good work.

Week 1, Day 1 (Part 3)

Workout Length: 31 minutes. Brisk five-minute warm-up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

Look, I know. Back to Week 1 Day 1, AGAIN! I could have just advanced to Day 3, which is the same as Day 1 and Day 2, since they are in the same week. But, this time I have two excuses. One is really and excuse and the other is valid. So, let's concentrate and the more valid one.

First, it's been over a week since I've ran and I just can't bring myself to moving forward without "properly" following the program. Did it work? No, okay.

The OTHER excuse is that... I found a work out/jogging buddy and he is in the same shape as I am and has NOT done the program, so I figured I would start at the beginning.

This time, while the Couch to 5K program Week 1, Day 1 thing is only 31 minutes, we were actually there for over an hour. Oh, and I wasn't at the track this time. We met up at the park and jogged/walked around the pond.

I really think I am building some endurance. The sweats things makes me LOOK more tired, but I was did REALLY good. I think running with someone helps too, because it gives me someone to talk to and I don't have time to pay attention too how much air my lungs are really getting.

So, after the 31 minutes of the C25K program we did "hills." If I only knew what I was getting myself into BEFORE I went. I still would have gone. We ran up this steep as grass hill, and then back. We did three of them and while that doesn't sound like a lot, you try it, because it is!

It was a good thing that my buddy remembered to bring water, because I didn't. I think that is becoming a bad habit - not bringing water. Anyway, we are going to meet up again on Wednesday and get back on the horse. I am looking forward to it. :D

Mental Notes:

1. Buy one of those water back packs.
2. Blue tooth headphones would be awesome (thanks friend), but I'm not dropping that kind of cash on them.
3. I still need nice running shoes. Anyone have any suggestions?
4. I love the hot tub, my muscles felt like hard jello last night, but after dipping into the hot tub they feel great this morning!

Week 1, Day 2

Workout Length: 31 minutes. Brisk five-minute warm-up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.



Yes, finally, I made it to Day 2. Still a little while longer than what it should be, but I think I'll be okay.

I almost didn't go. I really thought hard about if I wanted to just sit on the couch and watch another movie or go for a run. I already ate dinner, so I couldn't use that as an excuse, and I wasn't feeling up for ice cream (no I'm not sick, I feel fine). After the horrible religious views on Dead Man Walking I HAD to get out of the house and go for a run.

I almost used the excuse that if I went running, then I would be getting "ahead" of Curtis in the program and that wouldn't be fair. Then, I remembered that the whole Jog/Walk thing of Week 1 was a little weak for him anyway. So, I convinced myself I would be catching up to him instead.

...

WARM UP

Okay 3 people running the other direction, I get the whole "rebel" thing, let's be real. You look kind of silly running in the wrong direction.

I made a few changes to how I do the work out:
1. I doubled up on sports bras. Yea, one just isn't as supportive as two, and I was tired of being hit in the face.
2. I wore sweatpants instead of shorts.
3. I wore a small, light jacket.
4. I made my kick ass play list!

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

About time. Is it just be or is a five-minute warm-up just too long? I walked like a lap and a half in that 5 minutes and that is from lane eight too!

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

That wasn't bad at all. At least I have had worse. I probably could have ran for another minute. Probably. Oh look? Someone brought the kittens food. It's dry food, but I bet they are happy to have anything. Look at those three little things? They are so cute.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

Good, I'm not even tired. I need to get running. I wonder if next week they switch it up on you, 90 minutes of running followed by 60 minutes of walking. I really should have looked up this shit before I started the program, I have NO IDEA what I'm getting myself into; only the promise of being able to run 3 miles in 9 weeks.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

OH! I am breaking a sweat. WOW! I don't remember being sweaty the last couple of times. No, I take that back I was definitely sweaty, just not this early...

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

Oh, you can't forget to get into the hot tub afterwards. This way, your muscles wont be sore in the morning. Actually, the hot tub doesn't sound that great. Maybe try the pool to cool off first, and then hop in the hot tub. That might be better.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

How many laps have a I done? I lost count at 5. It doesn't really matter anyway, I can't give an accurate estimate of how far I've ran because I am in lane 8. Oh well. Maybe next time, the three stooges over there will run the right direction on the track.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

OH! Mr. 50-60-70 is back! I didn't see him last time. It seems that this is a regular place for running. I guess it's nice. Quiet. Friendly. There are lights. No one seems to bother you. At least I don't think this is the Central Park of Tempe.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK - YOU'RE HALF WAY THERE.

WHAT? Really, sometimes I think they should really make these work-outs longer. This just doesn't seem like a lot at all. I guess, it is half way, and I am at the point where I could quit. But I won't, I have to keep going.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

Oh good... That makes me feel better. Half way there, and I am this sweaty! It has to be all of these clothes that I am wearing. But, I have to admit, my legs aren't getting that itchy/tingling/burning sensation in them this time.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

My lungs hurt. Is that possible? Can your lungs hurt? It must be in my head. or it could be the double sports bra thing. It might be putting pressure on my chest. Well, it needs pressure to hold these girls down. What would you rather have, black eyes for a week or a few minutes of not being able to breath?

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

I can't wait to get home and have a bowl of ice cream. I don't really need it, but I haven't had any today and it just sounds so good. YUM! :D AWW! The kitten have a Mom!!! She finally came out to eat. :D I wonder if they will ever let me pet them. I'll probably never get the opportunity. At least I know where I can get a free kitten if The Man and I ever decide to get one. FAT chance of that.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

Oh that bitch is back. The one with the spandex and sports bra. She brought a friend this time. A guy friend. Eww... At least he is ugly. Oh, what was that? I thinks he likes him, that look she gave was undeniably a "I like you" look. Curtis looks better. Why does she run like that? Short steps? It looks ridiculous! Pick up your knees!

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

WOW! People are actually stretching? I need to start doing that. Really, I hear it is good for you. Plus, I want to be as limber as I was when I was 13. I can try. I think if I stretch for 15 minutes every day then, eventually (in a few years, maybe?) I will get there.

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

Hey! New tall skinny bitch passing me! When did you get here? You're leaving already? What is with these people and leaving? I know I don't smell... too bad... Hey and the 3 stooges are gone too. They came on bikes? GOOD IDEA!

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

I like this running thing, it's tough. I wonder what the deal is for next week? Like, what do they think I am going to be doing? Hopefully, not much more! Pick up your knees, Christie. Gosh, DRAGGER!

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
WALK

"ONE. Nothing wrong with me. TWO nothing wrong with me..." Yes! Great song. Why can't the good songs come on when I am running? Come on time, hurry up! I want to run to this song, it is motivation! "THREE. Something's got to give."

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
RUN

Oh no! You dirty 50-60-70 year old. You can't lap me. Damn it. Well, once is better than twice, like last time. What's that? He was here before me last time. SHUT UP! That is irrelevant to the point. Isn't this the last run, I think this is the last run. Pick it up!

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
COOL DOWN

Oh the old man is leaving? That was a short work-out. I bet he didn't even go more than a mile! NO WAY am I going to get in the hot tub, I'm sweating more than a pig!

Metal Notes:

1. Always wear two sports bras it makes much more sense.
2. Don't forget to bring the f'ing water. WHAT is wrong with you?
3. Edit the kick ass play list. Some songs... not so kick ass.
4. Sweats/jacket works, wear it every time.
5. Invest in a bicycle.
6. Buy better shoes, but black ones so I can wear them while bartending too.

Week 1, Day 1 (Part 2)

Workout Length: 31 minutes. Brisk five-minute warm-up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

Now I know what you are thinking... The answer is Yes, I did already complete Week 1, Day 1 of the Couch to 5K, but that was just so long ago that I couldn't jump to Day 2 and expect the program to work. I said in the beginning that I had to be consist AND that I would struggle with consistency. So, I started from the beginning and this time, The Man (his name is Curtis, btw) joined me.

We went off to the track, luckily there were no 50/60/70 year old men there to taunt me and make me feel like a sissy.

However, Curtis was there which made stopping to walk on the first Beep and waiting to run until 1 second AFTER they guy told me to run was out of the question. I think I got away with that once, and only once.

I was really surprised. I wasn't out of breath nearly has much as I was a few weeks ago when I attempted this. Apparently, I might have something called muscle memory. Curtis was telling me about it during our first night at the track. It's where your body remembers where it was before you got fat and lazy; therefore, it wont take you long to get there at all.

I was right about one thing though, the first day of Couch to 5K was a little slow for Curtis and I am sure he would have preferred to just take a mile and then walk half a lap and then run a mile. SCREW THAT! This girl can't run a mile straight, at least not yet. But, he is glad to be out there doing SOMETHING and he is, I am sure, as any guy would be, glad that I have gotten off of the couch as well.

So, this time I didn't have ice cream BEFORE going for the run. I did enjoy a couple spoonfuls AFTER the run. Then, we went to the hot tub, which felt SOOO good! Today, my body is not really sore like it was last time I attempted this feet! This is giving me, however miniscule, some motivation for continuing onward.

Curtis is now on this huge healthy kick, which is easy to talk about while running, not so easy to accomplish. He is FOR SURE going to start going to the gym again. When he is going to do this? I have no clue, but who am I to burst his bubble? He damn sure is not going to go to the gym during any time we possibly might have to spend together, and I'm not in "gym shape" yet. Yes, I said gym shape. That is the shape you have to be in before you can go to the gym without people giving you the stink eye.

OH! I did get one of the shoulder strap things for my iPhone, so I don't have to hold it anymore. MUCH better! I think not having any extra weight in my hand really extended my endurance! PPSSH!

My legs still got that horrible sensation in them after awhile. There was this one other high-school female the track. She was in high-school and probably in track. Therefore, I was not that jealous of her, because she isn't burdened with things like stress and bills yet. Anyway, she was TOTALLY showing off by doing some weird one legged jump thing from one seat in the bleachers to the seat above it. Yea, wonder when I can do THAT one. I saw that she was wearing sweats and a SWEATSHIRT. "A sweatshirt?" I thought to myself, seconds before my legs started burning. Then it hit me, like that half empty soda can thrown at me last week during karaoke. If I keep my muscles warm, maybe they won't start to itch. Now that I think about it, it doesn't make as much sense to me now as it did then. I'm still going to test the theory. Maybe I can even write my own book afterwards.

Mental Notes:

1. Make kick ass play list for when Curtis isn't joining me in the run.
2. Buy good running shoes.
3. Wear clothes that cover my entire body in an attempt to avoid that tickling/burning/itching sensation.
4. Get in hot tub after work out in order to avoid horrible muscle pains the next day.

Week 1, Day 1

Workout Length: 31 minutes
Brisk five-minute warm-up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cool down walk.

It took me several weeks to finally get the gumption to get off my ass and go for a run. I mean WEEKS. So, I was sitting (more like laying on the couch) being lazy, and watching some TV when I got the sudden urge for ice cream. YUM! I sat there, on the couch, for another hour before I mentally convinced myself some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream was worth putting on a bra and going to the store. I did, I bought 2 gallons because between trying to pick which brand of cookie dough ice cream I wanted (Lucerne) I saw my ALL time FAVORITE ice cream, Caramel Caribou. Yum! I already had cookie dough on my mind so I had to buy that and after seeing my childhood favorite ice cream, I couldn't leave without that one either.

There I was, back at home, watching TV (I was on the last few episodes of Season 4 of The O.C.), and consumed in my Cookie Dough/Caramel Caribou ice cream concoction when I got this sudden urge to exercise. I know, right? I finished my bowl of ice cream, finished watching the season and got dressed for the track. I made the mistake once of just running down the street, to the next block and back. Not only am I pretty sure I ran past someone trying to break into the party store down my street, I am almost positive he followed me for 100 feet before backing off. Plus, the cat calls were a bit annoying and I'm not sure heartfelt because I needed to run, if you get my point. Plus, it's dark and I rarely see a cop on this street, despite all the traffic and I couldn't live with myself if I was on the front page of the Phoenix Sun because some crazy couldn't control himself. So, to the local high school track it was, which happens to be right down the road.

I'm driving to the track, totally pumped up for the run. I can't wait. Yes, let's do this. I've only been to the track here once, I don't even know if I remember how to get there. You know what? Instead of driving around aimlessly, I am just going to turn around and go home. Oh look! That's your turn, it's just down this street. Wait, did I make the right turn, this doesn't look familiar, I don't remember it being this far down the street. Maybe I should turn around. Oh look! The parking lot for the track.

It's amazing the anxiety my mind goes through in order to avoid any physical exertion.

I parked my car; I made the decision to park under a light, after all it was 730 at night. As I was walking to the field/track I was, again, mentally psyching myself out. I mean, I forgot a water bottle, I should go back and get one, but I know I'm not coming back if I leave. Forget the water! Wait, I'm carrying my keys, I can't carry my keys while I run. I'll put them in my bra. No, I don't want to jingle every time I leap forward. I know I'll hide them. If I were keys where would I hide? Boy, this track sure is at a loss of hiding spots for keys. Maybe I should just go home. Oh fine! I'll just put them out of the way. But if someone steals my keys, I swear! Wait. Someone else is on the track? I don't want to bother him. What if he doesn't want to be bothered. Just run already! Okay, okay, okay... 5 minute brisk walk.

Luckily, I have the C25K application on my iPhone. Oh, I don't have head phones. This would be so much easier if I had headphones and I have to hold my phone too! Maybe I should leave. No, that would make me look like a moron to this man jogging around the track. What is he like 50? Shouldn't be on a breathing machine instead of jogging around a high school track? OH look? Kittens. Awe... She is so tiny. Where is the Mom. I should take them home. No, can't do that, Curtis is allergic. Oh how I wish I could take them home.

Beep
Beep
Beep
RUN...

Oh cool, it beeps at me, and tells me to run. Oh wow. I remember these days, I was the fastest girl on the track, well maybe not the fastest; but definitely the most strategic. No one could beat me in the 400m (once around the track) or the 800m (twice around the track). Well, that wasn't too long ago. Let's see... I was 13 when I last ran track, and I am 20 now. That's just...

Beep
Beep
Beep
WALK...

I love this phone. This is a piece of cake. Okay, I just can't hold this phone much longer - in the bra it goes. Opps. Turn it around, my boobs are smuggling the speakers and I can't hear any music. There, that's better. Now, see? This isn't so bad. I could really use some water about now. I KNEW I should have gone back to get some.

Beep
Beep
Beep
RUN...

What? Run? Already? But! Let's see now... I was 13 and I'm 20 now, so that was SEVEN YEARS! It's been SEVEN whole years! I can't believe I let my ass stay out of shape for 7 years. What happened to me? What the hell was I possibly busy with when that I didn't have time to take care of myself. Oh yea. High School!

Beep
Beep
Beep
WALK...

Oh thank, God! I am so walking! Wait a minute. Who is this Bitch! Showing up here on the track with her water bottle, sports bra and spandex. She should be wearing a tank top at least! Who does she think she is? Oh, good song!

Beep
Beep
Beep
RUN...

She doesn't even have any curves. Who would want a body like that? Not me. That's for sure. Wait, then why am I here? How far have a ran? 4 laps. Yea, about a mile. Damn, this is hard. What happened to my 3 minute 800m? Oh look! The kittens are pouncing on each other. I really want to take one home. A lot of people use this track. I'm impressed. My legs are tingling? Wait, I remember this feeling. That time I went to the Chiropractor and he put me in that water contraption machine that was suppose to massage my back but ended up feeling like the jabbing knife a friend. It has something to do with blood circulation, this is good my blood is moving. It LIKES it! Wait, I forgot that it itches.

Beep…

About time! I think that timer is wrong, because that was definitely more than 1 minute of running. Man! I wish I could scratch my legs, but then I would look like an idiot in front of these pros. Foot steps are behind me. I hope I don't get jumped. Please don't get jumped, please don't get jumped! There are too many witnesses. Plus, miss Skinny Suzie over there looks better, she would be raped before me; I guess being fat *cough* bigger has it's plus (no pun intended). Those last too thoughts are horrible realizations. Speaking of the, Devil; I guess those were her foot steps. Bitch!

Beep
Beep
Beep
RUN...

More foot steps behind me??? Come on I am not that slow..... ...................... ............... Wait, WHAT? Seriously! No, not possible. That man looks like he is in his late 60s. Maybe he just looks old; he is probably in 50s. Like that makes it any better! Plus, people who exercise look younger not older than what they are. That puts him in him early 70s! I can't believe he is going to lap me? Really!?!

Beep...

It's a really nice night tonight. Not too warm. If it was in the dead of summer, I would be out here. I couldn't handle the heat. It just gets too hot. Breeze! Oh how nice! I hope it is nice and breezy every night that I come out here to run. The Man and I should really should do this; it isn't so bad.

Beep
Beep
Beep
RUN...

I'm just afraid that he will try to show off and run ahead of me, or make me feel like I needed to run faster to keep up. That isn't good. I would have to keep my own pace and he would just have to slow down to stay with me, becauseI don't want him running away from me. Wait, I don't want to hold him backeither. Is that what I am doing? Holding him back in life? Who wants to be in thatkind of relationship. I really need to figure out how I can get one or both of those kittens. Damn it, where is there Mother? I could tell him I rescued them... Hmm... Let's see, almost hit by car? No. Dogs were chasing? No, that is no good.

Beep...

I'm not going to walk this time. No WAY am I letting that 50-60-70 something year old man lap me, AGAIN! Maybe, Skinny Suzie is kind of cute.

Beep

No you need to walk. You're going to do it any way and by putting it off you will only make it less walking time before you have to run again.

Beep

No, not going to do it. I am going to run through this walk and then walk at the next one.

COOL DOWN.

OH! Look? I did it! Woo Hoo! Now, just walk a little slower and that 5 minute cool down will be done by the time you get to the car. That old man is still running? Isn't he going to like, slow down? Or walk? He's GOT to be tired.

Okay mental notes:

1. I need good shoes; nice running shoes for this. I'm going to get me a pair.
2. Get a shoulder strap for my iPhone, this boob thing just isn't going to last.
3. OH! Make kick ass, motivational play list for phone to listen to while running.
4. Don't forget water next time!
5. Come up with a good excuse to bring home those kittens

* * * * * *